Sophie's Tragedy
by amykaye
Summary: UPDATED 4.25.05. Sequel to INNOCENCE LOST. When Sophie's sister dies, she goes against her mother's wishes and attends the funeral with the Cliffhanger girls in tow. There Sophie's mother reveals some shocking news and must come to terms with her past.
1. Gotta Jet

  
  


This happens about a month after Innocence Lost. Thanks to (I think) Mary for the title and idea of this chapter.

  
  
It was your average day at Mt. Horizon. Shelby and Scott went off to the docks to make out, Juliette sat on a stool and watched as Auggie painted, Ezra followed Daisy around like a puppy dog, and Jet was alone. As usual. Not that they weren't her friends - they were. They all just had love interests. Thats the bad thing when there are four girls and only three boys. Someone is bound to be left out. And its Jet. It always seems to work out that way. When her family went on outings - to dinner or a play - she was always ignored. At school, at least in elementry school, she was picked last for the team, even though she was a great athlete. In high school she got in with the wrong crowd and did drugs, among other things. And even then she was left out. Then her parents shipped her off to Horizon. Horizon was the first place she ever felt accepted. Juliette was one of her best friends. Shelby and Daisy were good friends, but they had each other. And all three of them had love interests. Not Jet. Not ever Jet.  
At any rate, that was when Jet began to get a little depressed. She didn't like feeling left out again. She sat on a bench and opened a book. She wasn't really reading, but thinking. Still, she was surprised when Sophie came up and sat next to her. For some reason, Jet was still a little angry at Sophie for bothering Juliette right after she got raped. Still, she closed the book.  
"Hey, Jet. Is there anything wrong?" Sophie asked. She had been watching Jet all morning and noticed how hurt she was when Scott and Auggie came for Shelby and Juliette, and when Ezra and Daisy went off together.  
"No. Nothings wrong. Everything is the same as it has always been. And as it always will be," Jet said, staring ahead, not offering an explaination.  
"Anything you want to talk about?"  
"No. Not really."  
Sophie stood up. "Well, if you want to talk, you know where to find me."  
Jet watched her walk off, and shook her head. Jet didn't understand how anyone could be happy like that.  
  
Jet continued to feel worse as the day went on. Juliette noticed, but Jet couldn't explain to her what was wrong. It wasn't that Juliette wouldn't understand, Jet didn't really know why she was so upset. It wasn't only the relationships they all had - it was something else. Maybe it was her past coming back to haunt her, she didn't know.  
  
That evening, Sophie knew something was up. Jet didn't eat any of her dinner and didn't say a word during group. Jet always cleared her plate and talked more than anyone during group. After awhile, Sophie realized that Jet never talked about anything before her teenage years. It wasn't even on file. Sophie had to find out what happened. Jet could have had some traumatic experiences then and it was coming up to an anniversary of one. Sophie found Jet in the lodge, reading again.  
"Jet? Can I talk to you, please? In the office?" Sophie asked. Jet looked half-scared, half-relieved and followed Sophie silently.  
"Listen, Jet. You've been kind of "off" lately. You didn't eat or talk during group. And it got me thinking that we know nothing about you before you were twelve. I was getting worried that something might have happened then that you're remembering now. Would you mind telling me?" Sophie said, as gently as she could, but nonetheless, Jet blew up.  
"You'd like to know, wouldn't you! Okay, I'll tell you. My mother was an abusive alchoholic - physically and verbally. She never missed the chance to put me down, to say I was stupid, worthless. I don't think I ever heard a kind word from her. Seriously. I can't remember any. Well, I had a little brother. He was seven years younger than me. My mom absolutly loved him. She actually compared me to him, saying that I couldn't do this or that when I was that age. And my father - well, he was the kindest man I ever knew. He always knew what to say after my mom hurt me. She never really beat me, but she would slap me if I was "disobedient" or "defiant." Then, one day, he and my brother were coming to my horseshow. It was my first major one. I was jumping and on the flat and a whole bunch of things. My father had come to cheer me on and my brother came because he loved horses. My mom wouldn't go. She hated horses because I loved them, and she never came to support me in anything I did. Well, when they were going home, my brother and dad got hit by a guy who ran a red light. My dad died on the spot and my brother smacked his head on the dashboard because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt correctly. He died in the hospital. My mom was so angry. She said it was my fault. She wouldn't speak to me at all after that. Then she decided she couldn't live with someone who killed her husband and son, and sent me into foster care. I went to eight foster homes in two months. Then, this nice couple let me stay with them. They were nice to me and treated me like a daughter and wanted to adopt me. They went through lots of legal stuff to adopt me. My mom somehow gave up guardianship of me. I don't know. But in short, my dad and brother died five years ago, when I was eleven. I don't know where my mom is and I don't care. She can go to hell," Jet said, crying now. She hated to cry. Sophie sat next to her and tried to put an arm around her, but Jet wouldn't let her.  
"Jet, I'm sorry. I had no idea about any of this. You-"  
"You can go to hell, too." Jet stood up and tried for the door, but Sophie caught her.  
"Why, Jet?"  
"You just _had_ to know my story, didn't you? Nobody knows it except me and my parents and now you. I wasn't planning on telling anyone, but you _had_ to know. And no, I don't feel better about telling you. In fact, I feel worse. So just leave me alone!" Jet shook Sophie off and ran out of the building, leaving Sophie, hurt and confused, in the office. When Jet got to the picnic area, she stopped short. She sat at a table and put her head down to cry. Scott and Shelby walked by a few minutes later.  
"Jet, you okay?" Shelby asked. Jet nodded. She wasn't really paying attention, but staring off into the woods, a plan formulating in her mind. Shelby followed her gaze.  
"Don't do it, Jet. If you get caught, you'll get in a lot of trouble," Shelby said.  
"I have to."  
"Why?"  
"Because...because...if they come find me, I'll know they care."  
"But they do care. Why run to find that out?" Scott asked. Jet shook her head. She wasn't in the mood to explain things. She felt her pockets. She had a few bills and about fifty cents. Wordlessly, she jumped up and headed for the woods, leaving Scott and Shelby staring off after her.  
"She's gonna get in lots of trouble," Scott said. Shelby elbowed him.  
"Shut up, Scott. She's in pretty bad shape. Don't forget you ran, too. And you trashed someone's house." Shelby kissed him. "I just hope she's okay."  
"She will be."  
  
Two hours later, Jet came to a main road. In front of her was Rusty's. It looked pretty deserted, so she thought it would be safe to go on in. She walked in and flopped into a chair. She looked around her.  
The restraunt was nice, kind of a diner-y feel to it. A jukebox sat in a corner, silent. A Chinese woman stood behind the counter pouring coffee for two men. A little Chinese girl sat on a stool, swilveling around and around. The woman came up and introduced herself as Annie.  
"I'm Jet. I only have..." she counted her money. "Two-sixty."  
Annie noticed how tired the girl looked and took pity on her. "Well, the kiddie burger is two dollars. I'll throw a drink in on the house." Jet thanked her and watched her go off. She slipped into a world of her own and didn't notice when Annie picked up the phone to call Peter.  
"Yeah, Peter, this is Annie. I've got one of your kids over here. Her name's Jet. She just ordered a burger. She has money, and looked tired and hungry, so I served her. She's okay," Annie whispered.  
On the other end, Peter let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Annie. I was a little worried about her. Seems she got upset about a conversation she had with Sophie and ran off. I'm glad she went to your place."  
"My guess is that she probably thought she ran farther than she really did. I just think you should let her eat before coming to get her."  
"Well, I'll leave now. It'll take me about fifteen minutes to get over there, but I'll let her finish. Thanks again, Annie, I'll be over in a bit. Bye." Peter hung up the phone and looked at Sophie. She was upset about Jet running.  
"Its okay, Soph. She's at Rusty's."  
"I just feel so horrible. I wasn't pushing her. Well, I did bring her in here because I wanted to talk to her privatly. I was just worried and then she told me her story and then told me to go to hell then left. I probably should have left her alone."  
"No, Soph. Thats okay. I'm not going to make her punishment too severe, since she didn't run far and even went into a restraunt to order food. At least she's eating. I'm going to get her. I'll be back soon."  
  
Annie waited patiently for Jet to finish and Peter to come get her. By the time Peter got there she was too tired to resist or fight. Peter thanked Annie again and took Jet to the car. There, he gave her the lecture on running and explained that she would be on shuns for the rest of the week. Four days of no talking or interacting with others. Jet knew she deserved it. At least she could do some thinking for the next few days.  
  
  


This is going to be about Sophie later on, this is sort of a lead in.  
Please **review**!


	2. Relating

  
  


Sorry its short!

  
  
Jet sat scrunched as close to the door as she could. She just wanted to disappear. It really bothered her that she told her story. It was so embarrassing. She could still see the image of her little brother, only four, bruised and bleeding with no hope of survival, in the hospital. She shook her head to clear the vision and wiped her eyes.  
"You okay, Jet? Anything you want to tell me?"  
Jet shook her head. Talking was the last thing she wanted to do. Now, she was tired and upset and just wanted to go to sleep so she could forget, temporarily, about her day.  
When Peter pulled up in front of the lodge, she saw Sophie, sitting on the steps and waiting. Jet didn't want to talk to her right then. She sat in the car and waited until Peter came around and opened her door.  
"Jet, Sophie is going to take you back to the dorm, okay? She has something to say to you. Now, I know you don't want to talk right now, but just listen. You don't need to talk. I'll see you tomorrow." Peter squeezed her shoulder and pushed her to Sophie. They started to walk to the dorm silently.  
"Listen, Jet. I didn't mean to push you today. I was just worried because you weren't eating. I wasn't trying to get your story out of you, that wasn't my intention. And because you confided in me your secret, I'll tell you mine," Sophie said.  
"You don't need to tell me something private just because you pity me," Jet said.  
"Its not that, Jet." Sophie stopped walking. "My family situation is almost exactly like yours. My mom is as mean and spiteful as your mother. My father died when I was fifteen, right before my sixteenth birthday. My mom blamed me for his death, too. He had cancer - I don't know how she was able to blame that on me, but she did. The only difference is, she didn't give me up. There were plenty of times I thought she might, but never did." Sophie started walking again.  
Jet was dumbfounded. "I - I'm sorry, Sophie."  
"Thats okay."  
"And...and I'm sorry I told you to go to hell. I was just...upset. I know thats a lame excuse, but I am sorry."  
"Apology accepted. Here we are," she said as they arrived at the dorm. She squeezed Jet's shoulder as she walked up to the door. When she was safely inside, Sophie turned back and headed for the lodge. Now she had some other news she had to figure out how to deliever: Daisy's dad was coming to get her Sunday, and she was going to stay for a week. He said he was going to AA meetings and therapy sessions, and both were having family days. He wanted Daisy to go to AA and see how well he was doing, and they'd get a therapy session together at his psychiatrist. She knew Daisy would be all but thrilled about going for even a day - but a whole week...  
Sophie would have to tell her by tomorrow evening, give her a five day notice.  
  
"So, whats the damage?" Shelby asked when Jet entered the dorm.  
"Shuns."  
"That sucks. For how long?"  
"Till Friday."  
"Thats not too bad. When Auggie and I ran, we both got shuns and we couldn't talk to each other. Don't worry, its not really that bad," Juliette said. Jet nodded and lay down on her bed. She was still on the edge and afraid she might start crying again if she spoke. They all knew she was upset, but they thought it was because she got caught. Daisy knew it was something else. She threw a pillow at Juliette and motioned for her to talk to Jet. Juliette hesitently sat down next to Jet.  
"Jet, whats wrong?"  
"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine."  
"You sure? Nothing's bothering you? Why did you run?"  
"You don't want to hear it."  
"If I didn't want to hear it, then I wouldn't have asked."  
"Well...everyone has a boyfriend. I guess I felt left out, or I didn't fit in. And some other stuff. I don't want to go into it right now."  
"Okay." Juliette sat with her for a few minutes, until she fell asleep. Then she went back to her own bed.  
"I hope she's okay. She's never upset. Something big must've happened."  
"Yeah, after group, Scott and I saw her and she was really upset then," Shelby said.  
"I could read the cards and see what's wrong," Daisy suggested.  
"Something tells me she won't be in the mood for it, Dais," Shelby said.  
Daisy shrugged. "Only a suggestion."  
"Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight," Juliette announced and lay down. Wordlessly, the others did the same.  
  
  


Next: Daisy learns she's going home for a whole week and Sophie gets some important news.  
Please **review**!


	3. Goodbye

  
  
The next evening, Peter and Sophie sat Daisy down in Peter's office to give her the news.  
"Whoa, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. I have to go home - not for a weekend like all the others, but for a whole week!" Daisy exclaimed angrily. Going home was one thing, but for an entire week was another. She sat down and folded her arms defiantly. Peter and Sophie looked at each other. They expected this sort of reaction.  
"Daisy, I know you're shocked, but you've gotta do this. You haven't seen your dad since the funeral, practically. You need to spend time with him and understand some things," Peter began.  
"What's there to understand? Despite what he says, he's still an alcoholic, he could care less about me." Peter and Sophie looked at each other again. "What? What is it? Is there something you're not telling me?"  
"Well, Dais, the reason why your dad wants you to come home this week is, because AA and his therapist are having family meetings. AA is on Tuesday, his therapist is on Thursday morning," Peter said.  
"What? You're kidding, right? Why do I need to go with him?"  
"Well, because its family time. It helps the person a lot to know that they have somebody who loves them and supports them. Relationships strengthen, you'll get to see how your dad is coming along, a few other things. Sophie and I agreed that it would be good for both of you if you went."  
Daisy jumped up. "You don't know what's good for me!" she exclaimed, then ran out of the room. Sophie sighed and started to go after her.  
"Soph, wait. Leave her be for now. I have something I need to tell you myself. I'm not sure you'll like it."  
"Judging by the sound of your voice, I don't think I will, either." She sat down on the couch next to Peter.  
"Well, I have to leave tomorrow, for New York, for two weeks."  
"What? What for? And so soon?"  
"Well, I got a call this morning. I have to go up there for a few meetings about the school, and I'll go to a counseling workshop. I don't know why its such short notice, but I leave tomorrow afternoon. Roger can help, as well as Frank and the others. I'm really sorry to spring this on you so quickly, Soph, I really am."  
"Well, its bad, but not as bad as you made it out to be. Two weeks isn't that long, right?"  
"Nope, not too long. I better go pack, I'll be back by group."  
  
The next morning, the whole group gathered by the picnic tables. "I'll be gone for two weeks, you guys. Listen to Sophie - or any adult - and don't try anything funny. I'm only a phone call away and anyone can call me about any misbehavior." Peter put his bags in the truck. Frank was going to take him to the airport. "Bye, you guys. See you in two weeks." The group waved at him as he drove off. After the car disappeared, Sophie clapped her hands.  
"Okay, everyone. Get to class!" There was some grumbling as they headed for the lodge. Daisy hung back, still upset about going home to her dad. Shelby waited for her to catch up, but Daisy didn't offer any explaination for her attitude. Shelby knew, in due time, it would come out, so she walked along silently with her friend.  
  
The next day was horrible for Daisy. Sophie took her into Peter's office again after school. For a brief moment, Daisy thought that her dad changed his mind and wasn't coming to get her, or that he got the dates wrong.  
"Daisy, I know you're not going to like this, and I don't either. But your dad called this morning. He's coming to get you tomorrow afternoon. Not on Sunday."  
"What? Why!" Daisy said, shocked.  
"He said he wanted to spend a day with you alone before going to the meetings. The drive is a day and a half anyway, and he wanted to spend Monday with you."  
"But I'm spending Wednesday with him! And three days in the car! I don't need to go up earlier to spend a day with him!" Daisy exploded.  
"I know, Dais. I tried to tell him that, but he wouldn't listen. He's your father, Daisy, and despite what you believe, he still loves you. You two have things you have to settle."  
The news was too much for Daisy to handle. She surprised herself and Sophie when her eyes started to water. Embarrassed, she wiped them away.  
_Maybe this isn't good for her_, Sophie thought. "Daisy - we're only a phone call away if something goes wrong."   
"You're right. I do need to go. I don't want to, but I need to. If I ever want to get on in life, I need to resolve some stuff between us. But just because I'm going doesn't mean I'm ready to forgive him," Daisy said softly.  
"You don't need to forgive him right away, Daisy."  
"I know. I just don't know if I ever will."  
Sophie couldn't think of anything to say.  
"Well, I better go pack," Daisy said solemnly.  
  
Daisy slowly made her way back to the dorm. Thankfully, nobody was there. She pulled out her suitcase from under her bed and began to throw some clothes into it. Feeling helpless, tears began to fall down her cheeks. Just then, Shelby walked into the dorm. _Perfect timing,_ Daisy thought, and wiped her eyes quickly.  
"What are you doing?" Shelby asked.  
"What does it look like?" Daisy snapped.  
"Whoa, okay. I just asked a question."  
"Packing."  
"I can see that, but _why_?"  
"I'm leaving."  
"What? When?" Shelby was shocked. She thought Daisy was going away - for good.  
"Tomorrow afternoon."  
"Daisy, you can't leave!"  
"I have to. My dad needs me to go with him to some stupid family day AA and therapy meetings. I'll be gone a whole week!"  
Shelby sighed with relief. "Oh, only a week."  
"Only? I don't even want to go back. I hate my father!"  
"Well, think of it this way - its only for a week, not forever, and up until a little while ago, you lived with him your whole life."  
"I know..."  
"And besides, it may not be as bad as you think."  
"Trust me. It'll be bad."  
"Well, you can always call."  
Daisy closed her suitcase. "Thanks, Shel. That means a lot."  
By that evening, the whole group had found out. They were all supportive, especially Ezra. It was times like these when Daisy valued their friendship the most. The whole night he didn't leave her side. Their support was the only thing that was making her trip bearable.  
  
The next morning, during group, they used the stick again.  
"Okay, we all remember how to do this? Toss the stick at someone. Topic is 'I hate' - no 'I hate somebody.' Be realistic, and say whatever comes to your mind first," Sophie instructed. She tossed the stick at Auggie.  
"I hate the fact that my brothers were the ones who were always pressuring me." He tossed the stick to Juliette.  
"I hate how my mom always pressures me to be different than I who I really am." She tossed the stick to Daisy.  
She held the stick for a few seconds. "I hate that my mother was never a real mother." She tossed it to Shelby. But before Shelby could say something, a secretary came in.  
"Sophie, phone for you. It's an emergancy."  
"Okay. Hold on you guys, let me go take this call." Sophie followed the woman into the office.  
"No, not in here, in Mr. Scarbrow's office."  
"Okay, thanks." Sophie made her way into Peter's office. She picked up the phone and pressed line 1. "Hello, Mt. Horizon High School. Sophie Becker."  
"So thats what you call that place you 'work,'" came the snide voice from the other end. No mistaking it, it was Sophie's mother.  
"Um, hi mom. What are you calling about?"  
"Well, I actually wasn't going to call you, but your uncle Dan said I had to. Sophie, your sister died this morning."  
  
  


Coming up: Does Daisy leave or not? What are the events concerning Sophie's sister?  
Come on, people! Review! I don't know if I'll finish it if I don't get many reviews.


	4. Making Plans

  
  
Sophie stared at the phone. For a minute, she thought maybe her mother was joking. But her mom never joked.  
"Your kidding, aren't you?"  
"Of course I'm not," her mother snapped. To Sophie, it sounded as if her mom wasn't even upset about her daughter's death. For a few minutes it was silent. "Listen, Sophie. I don't want you to come to the funeral. You wouldn't be welcome. There's some stuff Jori would have wanted you to have and I'll send it to you."  
"I can't go? Why not? At least tell me when the funeral is."  
"Fine. Body viewing until Wednesday morning. Funeral Wednesday at 1."  
"Why so late?"  
"Well, Sunday is church, Monday some couple is renewing their wedding vows. Wednesday seemed like a reasonable date, and we have enough time to make it a perfect ceremony. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Goodbye, Sophie." And with that, she hung up. For a few more minutes, Sophie held the phone to her ear, absorbing all this information. Her sister was dead. She swallowed hard. She couldn't let the kids see her upset. She took a deep breath and went back into the group.  
"Sorry, kids. Something came up and I can't finish group this morning. You guys are free to go," Sophie said, not looking at any of them. She sat down in a chair and forced herself not to look at anyone.  
The guys were happy to the shortened group session and headed outside to play basketball. The girls, except Shelby, were indifferent and headed for their dorm.  
A little later, Sophie went to check on them. The boys teamed up and were playing against another group. The girls were all lying on their beds, reading, doing homework, or writing home. Shelby put down her book when Sophie walked in.  
"What is it?" she asked.  
"Just came to check on you."  
"We'll, we're fine...Why did you end group so early? What if I had something important I had to talk about?"  
"Did you?"  
"No."  
"Well, I'm sorry, you guys. Something important came up."  
"Thats a lame excuse. You know, Peter always puts us first, before him. If he had one more hour to live, he would probably spend it with us, giving us last minute information and trying to help us in anyway he can."  
Sophie felt like she was slapped. She tried not to let it show. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not Peter."  
"I can see that," Shelby shot back. She picked up her book and turned over. The others just gave Sophie looks that said, 'Don't mind her, she's having a bad day.' Feeling she was about to break, she went outside. She stood on the stoop, trying to calm herself down. For some reason, she couldn't bring herself to cry. She wanted to, but she felt as if she had to keep it in. But she had to do something besides sit around, so she decided to go into the "weight room" to let out some energy and emotion.  
  
About two hours later, Jet came up to the weight room. Sophie was hitting a punching bag with all her might.  
"Daisy wanted me to come get you. She's supposed to leave with her dad now. He's here," Jet said. Sophie stopped hitting the bag and only hit it lightly as it swung back to her.  
"Oh, God, I totally forgot! I didn't think I was out here that long!" Sophie went into a corner and put on jeans over her shorts and her shirt over her workout top.  
"Sophie, is everything all right?" Jet asked. Sophie stopped rushing for a second. For some reason, Jet's question caught her by surprise.  
"No, Jet. Everything's fine," she answered, not looking at her.  
"Something is wrong, Sophie. Otherwise you wouldn't have cancelled group or be here hitting a bag and forget about Daisy leaving."  
Sophie knew she couldn't keep it a secret anymore. "My mom called. She told me my sister died this morning." Again she hardened herself so she wouldn't cry, but it was getting hard not to. Jet gave her a hug.  
"When is the funeral?"  
"I'm not invited. My mom won't let me go."  
"What? Sophie, she can't not let you go!"  
"Jet, I don't really want to talk about this right now. Let's just go see Daisy off, okay?" Sophie interrupted. Jet nodded and followed Sophie out to the lodge, where Daisy and her father were waiting, as well as the rest of the Cliffhangers.  
"I'm extremely sorry, Mr. Lipenowski. I lost track of time," she said, shaking his hand. Daisy looked angry about the whole thing. Jet pulled them aside and whispered what happened. Then Daisy got an idea. She waited until her father was putting her things in the car.  
"Sophie, Jet told me what happened. I'm really sorry. Do you want me to stay here? I don't have to go." Daisy knew it was a feeble exuse. She already knew she'd have to go, but just maybe Sophie would want her to stay.  
"Thanks for the offer, Dais. But you really do need to go home. I'll be fine here, I promise. Call if anything happens or you want to talk or something, okay? And its only for a week. It'll go by fast if you don't think about it." Sophie gave Daisy a hug and then Daisy climbed into the car. The whole group waved until the car was out of site.  
"Well, you guys, I'm sorry, but I'm really not in the mood for anything today. You're free for today, just stay out of trouble. If you need me, I'm in the weight room," Sophie said. She left quickly, knowing she'd feel better after hitting the bag. Again, the guys went to play basketball and the girls went to the dorm.  
  
About 30 minutes later, they walked over to the weight room. Sophie was punching the bag again. She stopped when she saw the girls and sat down on the bench, taking off the gloves.  
"Well, we've been thinking. You should go to the funeral anyway," Juliette said.  
"I can't. My mom said I couldn't. And if I did go, I wouldn't be able to go alone. And what about the school?"  
"Well, we've thought that out. We, Jet, Shelby, and I, would go with you. You're not in charge of the school. You only teach one thing. It could be a mid-term break or something like that."  
"You guys can't go. You'd miss school."  
"Daisy would be missing the same amount as us. You said the funeral is on Wednesday. If we leave tomorrow, we'll get there Monday evening. You can go see the body and get the stuff from your mom on Tuesday, go the the funeral on Wednesday, and we leave on Thursday. Then we'd get back Friday evening, maybe about the same time as Daisy."  
"Well, I'm not even supposed to go."  
"Sophie, you're, what, 30? You're too old to let your mom boss you around. She lost that priviledge twelve years ago," Shelby said. Sophie knew she had a point.  
"Well, I really do want to go to the funeral, see my sister one last time. You're right, she can't tell me what to do anymore. But what I'm afraid of is my mom. She really does hate me, and I don't know why. I'm afraid to see her again," Sophie whispered, looking at her hands.  
"Well, we'll stick by you the whole time, if you want. Its about time we re-paid you for everything you've done for us," Julitte said. Sophie got choked up but still refused to cry.  
"Thanks girls, that means a lot to me...I guess we'll leave tomorrow after breakfast?"  
The girls nodded. They each gave Sophie a hug before going back to the dorm to pack. Sophie went to find Frank to tell him the news. He said he'd let her drive the van and he was extremely sorry. Then she interrupted the boy's game to tell them. They also gave Sophie a hug.  
Then she returned to her camper to pack. She made reservations at an Embassy Suites, so the girls could share beds and she would be alone. She made a possible reservation at a hotel along the way, but she was planning on driving straight through. Then she called Peter, but he didn't answer his cell and wasn't in his room. She left a message about the plan and that he didn't need to leave. She really needed to talk to Peter, to hear his voice. She needed to cry, but she couldn't. After hardening herself all afternoon, she couldn't bring on the tears even though she was ready. She packed quickly, had some soup for dinner, then went to bed. The day had been exausting, and she knew the next few days were going to be even worse.  
  
  


Coming up: the trip, or at least part of it. Please **review**!


	5. Driving Up

The next morning Sophie didn't want to get up. She was nervous about everything. She didn't know how the ride would be, or the hotel. She was afraid to see her sister's body, and even more afraid to see her mother. She didn't want the girls to see her upset. She knew this trip would also reveal her mom's feelings toward her, the real reason why they didn't get along, and Sophie didn't know she would be able to handle it. A few tears ran down her cheek and she wiped them away.  
She finally dragged herself out of bed and got ready, then loaded her stuff in the truck and drove over to the school.  
The Cliffhangers were already in the cafeteria, eating. They weren't teasing each other as usual. It even seemed as if the whole cafeteria were subdued. Even worse, it seemed as if everyone got quiet and looked at her when she walked in. It was too much to take and she left. She didn't know where to go. She couldn't go to the weight room. She went to the loft in the lodge and sat in the dark, trying to get herself together. Finally she went to the girls dorm to get them and to say bye to the guys.  
After saying goodbye to them, she ushered the girls to the van. Jet sat in the front, Juliette had the middle seat to herself, and Shelby had the back seat to herself. For the next couple of hours they rode in silence. Sophie had the radio on and would tune it whenever they got out of range. Jet and Juliette started on their homework while Shelby read. A little after noon they stopped at a hamburger place. Shelby knew better than ask for anything caffinated, but Juliette and Jet both tried.  
"I'll have a Dr. Pepper," Jet said.  
"Yeah, me too," Juliette said.  
"Chose something else girls. Can't allow you to have caffiene," Sophie said.  
The girls knew better than to argue and settled for water. Lunch was silent as well. They were afraid they might say something that would upset Sophie.  
Around one they were on the road again. They drove again in silence. Sophie didn't mind, it gave her time to think.  
Around three, Jet and Juliette switched places so Jet could lie down.  
For dinner they stopped at a Denny's. Again, the girls were quiet. After dinner Jet reclaimed her seat in the front. After about an hour the silence finally got to Sophie.  
"Why do you guys have to be so quiet! I don't think I've heard you guys say anything this whole time! For God's sake, talk!" Sophie said, hitting the steering wheel. Her eyes watered but she refused to let them fall. Jet put a hand on Sophie's arm, but Sophie shook it off. Uncomfortable, Jet climbed to the back and shared the middle seat with Juliette. Sophie felt worse. She pushed her hair out of her face and bit her lip.  
"Are we going to call Daisy tonight?" Juliette finally asked.  
Sophie took a deep breath. "No, probably tomorrow. She may not be home yet, and if she is, I want her to have a peaceful evening with her dad."  
Juliette shrugged. Daisy seemed to be the only safe subject, but that was about all they could talk about without gossiping. Again, the car was silent.  
"Are we going to stop for the night?" Shelby asked.  
"I don't think so."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I think it would be best if we kept driving."  
It was quiet again. Jet climbed back up to her seat and pulled out a book. Around nine the girls started to fall asleep. They had a long uneventful car drive and it actually made them tired. Jet put the seat all the way back so she could lie down.  
When Sophie was sure they were asleep, she let down her guard. She went over and over what she was going to say to her mom, or what she would say to her sister if she spoke at her funeral. Around two she was getting tired, but she had to keep driving. She went over a small bump and it woke Jet up.  
"What time is it? Where are we?" she asked groggily.  
"We're about 10 hours away. And its 2am."  
"Sophie, are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine."  
"Really?" Jet asked, skeptical.  
Sophie was silent for a few seconds. "No, of course not."  
"Aren't you tired?"  
"No." She was, but she wasn't going to admit it.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah I'm tired."  
"Well, do you mind if I stay up?"  
"Why?"  
"Well, you look like you could use some company."  
"You don't have to, Jet."  
"I don't mind."  
"Thanks, Jet," Sophie said, finally relenting. She was touched at Jet's offer to stay up with her.  
About twenty minutes later, Sophie was clearly tired. Her eyes kept glazing over and it seemed like she couldn't keep her eyes open.  
"Sophie, can I suggest something?"  
"Yeah. Shoot."  
"I really think we should stop for the night. Super 8, Motel 6, something cheap. You really need to sleep. No offense but you look pretty bad."  
"I don't want to stop...Well, I do, but I can't."  
"Come on, Sophie. You'll feel better."  
"Okay, but what is going to be open this late and will let me get a room?"  
"I don't know, we can try different places."  
Sophie relented and agreed to find somewhere to stay in the next town.  
  
Sophie came out of the lobby of the third motel looking dejected.  
"No again?" Jet asked. Shelby and Juliette were still out.  
"No again."  
"One more? Fourth times the charm?"  
"Fourth time?"  
"Yeah, well, nothing is the same for us as it is for the normal people."  
"Okay, one more." They drove down the main street for a few minutes and came to a motel.  
"Can I go in with you? I might have an idea."  
Sophie was too tired to argue so she agreed. They went up to the reception desk where a 20-something year old boy was working.  
"Can I get a room with two doubles and a roll-away. Four people."  
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't think thats possible."  
"Okay, thanks," Sophie said and turned.  
But Jet had another idea. She leaned on the counter. "Listen, uh...Dan. We both come from a school for messed up kids. She's a teacher, I'm a student. Now, her sister died yesterday and the funeral is tomorrow. Not today, tomorrow. She's been driving for more than 12 hours, and we're all a little tired. So if you would be kind and compassionate enough to put us up for a night, she'd be greatful. All the other hotels have turned us away. Please don't do that to us too."  
"Well, let me see what I can do." Dan typed some stuff in the computer and then looked at Sophie and Jet. "We have a couple of rooms, actually. 1st, 3rd, or 4th floor?"  
"First, please," Sophie said, relieved. She stayed and filled out some stuff and Jet went to wake up Shelby and Juliette, who still hadn't woken up.  
"God, you guys sleep like bricks!" Jet said. Shelby wasn't too happy about being woken up and was a bit testy.  
"Why did you wake us up? What time is it?"  
"Its after 2 and we're stopping at a hotel. Get your bags and lets go."  
Juliette and Shelby made their way like zombies to the hotel room and changed while Sophie went to get her bags. Juliette and Jet took the first double bed and Shelby took the cot. They were all out by the time Sophie came back. Sophie barely was able to change and fell asleep on top of the bed.  
  
  


Sorry its taken so long, but it took me awhile to get moved in and go through rush/recruitment. I hope you like it and please **review**!


	6. Breaking Down

  


I've never been in a funeral home before, so what I say is what I think it would look like.

  
  
When Sophie woke up that morning, for a minute she forgot where she was. Then she remembered she was in a hotel on her way to her sister's funeral. She rubbed her eyes as she sat up, and noticed the girls had already gotten up and ready. They were sitting on the cot, which was by the window, talking quietly. The stopped when they noticed her get up. Sophie silently went into the bathroom and took a shower. When she was done the girls were sitting quietly on the other bed. Sophie sat on her own bed and looked around the room.  
"We packed the car and had breakfast already. They stop serving breakfast in 30 minsutes," Juliette said, breaking the silence. She and Shelby sat down on either side of Sophie.  
"How are you feeling? Will you be okay to drive?" Shelby asked.  
Sophie nodded. She wanted to call Peter, but she was afraid just the sound of his voice would make her cry, and she was determined not to let the girls see her cry. She cleared her throat. "Well, I'm going to get some breakfast. Will you girls take my bag to the car, and make sure you have everything, please?"  
"Sure," Juliette said. She picked up Sophie's bag and Shelby looked under the beds and in the bathroom. Then they all took the bag to the car then joined Sophie in the lobby while she ate.  
  
An hour later they were on the road again, and again the ride was silent. Sophie had way underestimated the time it would take to get there, and they ended up arriving at 10. They checked into the hotel then went downstairs to look around.  
"I can never get over how cool Embassy Suites are," Juliette said as they watched the fish and swans.  
"I never knew a hotel had fish, let alone swans. This place seems like something out of a movie," Jet marveled.  
"Come on, girls. I'm tired," Sophie said, heading for the room.  
"Okay, so we're here for 3 nights. That way we can each have our own bed one night, if we want to work it that way," Shelby said.  
"That would work," Jet agreed.  
"So how about I have the bed tonight, the Jet, then Jules."  
"Whatever. I just want to go to bed. I'm tired," Juliette said, climbing into bed.  
"Night, girls," Sophie said, sticking her head in the room.  
"Night Sophie," Juliette mumbled, half asleep. Shelby and Jet laughed as they got in bed.  
Jet pulled a book out of her bag and started to read. "Do y'all mind if I read for a little bit?"  
"No. The light doesn't bother me. Looks like Jules is already out."  
"Okay. Night."  
  
The next morning they all slept in, a luxury they didn't have at Horizon. Sophie got them up at ten.  
"You guys slept through their breakfast, so you'll have to wait till we go to lunch."  
"Thats okay, I'm not that hungry," Juliette said. When Sophie looked at her, alarmed, she added, "Besides, we're going to eat in like two hours, and if I eat now I won't be hungry then." Jet and Shelby glanced at each other, smiling. But, Juliette did have a point.  
  
After lunch they went back to the hotel. They knew something was up because Sophie got them to sit down on one of the beds.  
"Um, girls, I'd like to go see the body today. You guys normally would have to go with me, but I'm not going to force you to go see a...a body. I can't leave you here, you'd have to wait in the car, but I'd really appriciate it if you could come with me. You don't-" Sophie said.  
"Of course we'll go with you," Shelby said, cutting her off.  
"Yeah. We didn't come with you just to get out of school, we came to support you," Juliette said. Tears stung Sophie's eyes and Juliette sat next to her and gave her a hug.  
Sophie tried to smile. "Thanks you guys...I'm going to walk around, can I trust you to stay here?" The girls nodded. "Alright, then. I'll be back in about 20 minutes." Sophie went out into the lobby of the hotel and watched people go by, but not really seeing them.  
Back in the room Shelby got the newspaper and looked for the obituary section. When she found it she went back into their room and sat on her bed.  
"Jordana Alexis Becker, 22, died Sunday morning from cancer. Jordana had been battling cancer for the past four years and she went into remission two years ago. Ten months ago the cancer came back full force and it ended her life. Jordana loved all animals and children and often helped at shelters and in the children's wing, even when she was sick. She is a graduate of TCU and a member of the ADPi sorority. She is preceeded in death by her father, Anthony Becker, and his parents, Jordana and Jack Becker. She is survived by her mother, Louisa Andrews Becker, her grandparents Kayla and Mitch Andrews, sister Sophie Julianna Becker, 'big' Andrea Kathleen Ortiz and 'little' Susannah Martin Graham, as well as many aunts, uncles, and cousins. Body viewing will be at Carter Funeral Home Monday and Tuesday and the funeral will be at Christ Methodist Church Wednesday at 1pm." Shelby finished, looking up.  
"Wow," Juliette said softly. "Poor Sophie."  
"It always seems to sink in more when you read an obituary. You know, kinda like its final," Jet said, the others nodded.  
"Maybe thats why Sophie hasn't read it yet. She doesn't want to accept it," Shelby said.  
"How do you know?" Juliette asked.  
"Because the paper hadn't been touched. I mean, she probably just put it on the table when she left." Shelby folded the section back and put it with the rest of the paper. A few minutes later, Sophie came back.  
"You guys ready to go?" she asked, not really looking at them. They nodded and followed her to the car.  
  
It took them nearly an hour to get to the funeral home. Sophie was paranoid that her mother would be there. She worried about that the whole drive and was relieved to see only three cars in the parking lot, none of them her mother's. Shelby and Jet jumped out of the car, Juliette got out a little slower; she was a little apprehensive about seeing a dead body.  
"Hello ladies, how can I help you?" a short, friendly man said as they walked in.  
"Umm I'm Sophie Becker. They're my students. We're here to see my sister, Jordana Becker."  
The man smiled. "Of course, please follow me." He led them down a small, dimly lit hall. "My name is Connor, by the way. Your sister is in that room, Miss Becker. Take your time, she's not being moved until tomorrow morning." With that he turned and left, his footsteps echoing in the hall.  
For a minute, Sophie just stood in front of the door, her hand on the handle. The girls waited patiently behind her.  
"Do you want us to go in with you?" Jet asked.  
Sophie nodded. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The room was just a bit brighter than the hall. The sun was blocked out by heavy drapes. The coffin was in the far corner of the small room. A small, old, wooden couch was by the door and a few chairs were in the corner behind the door. Sophie walked in slowly. Juliette and Jet sat on the couch and Shelby brought one of the chairs over next to them. Silently they watched Sophie.  
As Sophie made her way to the coffin, everything around her faded. She felt like she was in one of those movies where the room goes completely black and the bright spotlight shines on whats happening. When she reached the casket, she sucked in her breath. She couldn't believe the girl in front of her was her sister. Even through all the makeup she was pale. Sophie touched her sister's face, and it was cold. She felt a horrible sinking in her stomach.  
"Oh, Jori, I'm so sorry. I wish I was there for you more. I should have come back home when your cancer came back. I loved you so much and I didn't show it," Sophie said, her voice catching in her throat.  
"Should we leave?" Juliette whispered. The other shook their heads.  
"How am I going to deal with mom with you gone? You could always calm her down...God Jori, I miss you so much already!" Sophie choked out. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at the lifeless body of her sister. Her body started to shake as she tried to suppress her sobs. She leaned on the closed section of the coffin, trying to get herself under control. Then she felt hands on her shoulders. It was Shelby and Jet. They led her away from the coffin and to the couch. Juliette moved to the chair, Shelby brought over another chair and sat in front of the couch, and Sophie and Jet sat on the couch. Meanwhile Sophie tried to get herself under control.  
"Sophie, you haven't cried yet. Why?" Juliette asked, putting her hand on Sophie's shoulder.  
"I - I can't," Sophie mumbled.  
"Why not?"  
"Because I have to be strong. For you guys."  
"Sophie, you only have to be strong for us at school. Not now. Thats why we're here," Jet said.  
The girls watched as Jet's words sunk in. Sophie's eyes started to water, then her lip trembled. It still seemed as if she were still trying not to cry. Shelby reached over and took one of Sophie's hands. She looked over at her sister's coffin and it hit her. Tears fell rapidly down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and rocked back and forth. They tried to comfort her; Juliette stroked her hair, Jet rubbed her back, Shelby held her hands. For awhile they just let her cry. When she was done, she sat, staring straight ahead for a few minutes. "Does it look like I've been crying?"  
"Yeah. But thats okay," Juliette said.  
"Okay, lets go," Sophie said, not wanting to hang around any longer. "Thanks," she said to Connor, not stopping to talk with him.  
  
"Okay you guys. I can trust you. You can do whatever you want the rest of the day, just stay in the hotel and out of trouble." They had just gotten back to the hotel.  
The girls went to change into their bathing suits. As they headed out the door, Sophie stopped them. "Uh, you guys...Thanks."  
Juliette went over to her and gave her a hug. "You don't need to thank us." And they left to swim, leaving Sophie alone with her thoughts.  
  
  


Well, I finally updated this one. I hope you liked it. Please, please review because I don't know if I should continue it. 


	7. I Can Only Imagine

Wow, it's been a really long time since I have updated! Sorry if the story doesn't flow as well as it had before since I don't remember exactly what I had planned. Enjoy anyway!

A few minutes after the girls left, Sophie picked up the paper and turned to the obituaries. She searched for her sister's name and when she found it, she held her breath as she read it. After the first few lines her eyes filled with tears. She rubbed the speckled black and white photo gently with her fingers as the tears fell. She felt the emptiness of the loss expand in her heart and she couldn't look at the picture anymore. She lay down in her bed and clutched the spare pillow to her body. She buried her face in it and cried. She must have fallen asleep because later the girls were shaking her awake, afraid she had suffocated herself. Sophie sat up and wiped her eyes and smoothed her hair. She knew she looked like a mess but she was at the point where she didn't care anymore. She couldn't meet anyone's eyes, knowing the tears would start again.

"Do you want us to go get a pizza or something?" Jet offered.

"I can't let you go anywhere alone. Is it time for dinner already?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let me get cleaned up a bit and we'll go order a pizza and bring it back." She locked herself in the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. When she caught a glance of her grief stricken face in the mirror, she wanted to cry again. She looked away and wiped her face dry, patting herself to get rid of the redness in her face and in her eyes. She straightened her clothes and her hair, and was as ready as she could be.

The group made their way down the street and went in the first pizza place they saw. They ordered and sat on the wooden waiting benches silently, once again avoiding conversation. When the pizzas were ready they walked back and the girls went into their own room while Sophie sat in hers alone. The girls turned the TV on and only half watched some movie on HBO. There wasn't much more to talk about since they had a long conversation in the pool.

Shelby got up to use the bathroom, which was on Sophie's side of the room, but paused at the door and listened. She motioned for them to turn the volume down some. She returned and sat on the bed next to Jules.

"She's crying again."

"I wish there was something we could do," Juliette said softly.

"Me too." Jet agreed.

"There isn't, which sucks. We could tell her we know how it feels, but that doesn't ever make it any better. It must be so hard for her to be going through this alone. I mean, I'm sure she's grateful to have us with her, but come on, three sixteen year olds probably aren't her idea of comfort," Shelby said.

"Messed up sixteen year olds, at that," Jet added.

"I just hope everything goes okay tomorrow."

They shook their heads in agreement, not knowing what the next day would bring. With nothing else to do, they settled in bed and watched a movie on TV.

"Time to get up!" Sophie said the next morning, way cheerier than she should be.

The girls sat up groggily, wiping the sleep out of their eyes.

"You have thirty minutes to get ready before breakfast. Go."

The girls leapt out of bed, racing for the bathroom, and Shelby made it first. Forty-five minutes later, they were downstairs eating a late breakfast. Sophie's cheerfulness was starting to wane a little and was replaced by the jitters. Finally, Shelby had enough and put her hand on Sophie's knee to stop the bouncing.

"Enough. Calm down. Deep breaths," Shelby commanded. Sophie gave her a sad smile and stopped.

They left around twelve thirty for the church. Sophie wanted to squeeze in at the last possible moment so she could avoid her mother and so her mother wouldn't know she had come. When they arrived at the church, there were still people milling about outside the doors. Sophie spotted her mother, dressed in black with a gaudy black veil over her face, talking animatedly to a group of men by the door. After a few minutes, she looked in the doors, nodded, then began to motion the stragglers into the church, and went inside on the arm of one of the men she had been talking to.

Sophie stared intently at the door and jumped when Jet put her hand on her arm. She took a deep breath and nodded, then got out of the car. The girls walked in a huddle behind her and it was apparent it was getting harder and harder for Sophie to keep going as she neared the church. With much effort, she climbed the steps to the church, returning a soft smile to the man holding the door open for them. They were the last people to go in. The man opened the sanctuary doors and they slipped into the very back pew: Shelby, Sophie, Jet, and Juliette. The service began with a prayer and then the minister said a few words about Jordana. Then her mother spoke – emotionless, then her big sis Andrea spoke and shared a couple of stories of their days in college. It made some people chuckle even though Andrea was having a difficult time speaking. Then her little sis, Susannah, sang "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again," Jori's favorite song from her favorite musical. During Andrea's and Susannah's tributes silent tears fell down Sophie's cheeks. There were many sniffles throughout the church when Susannah was done, followed by a brief period of silence before the minister launched into a sermon about life and death. It was getting harder and harder for Sophie to keep control.

When he was finished, he said, "And now we will play a song that was very dear to her heart, 'I Can Only Imagine' by the Christian group 'Mercy Me.'"

At this, Sophie choked back a sob. "That was our song!" she whispered. Their special song, and it was being played at the funeral. Her mom had listened to her sister after all. The second the music started, Sophie couldn't control herself anymore. She bent over with her face in her hands, Shelby and Jet resting a comforting hand on her shoulders.

When the song finished the family stood and followed the pallbearers and the coffin up the aisle and out of the sanctuary. Sophie's mother glanced at the odd group huddled together in the last pew, and her eyes narrowed. Shelby caught her cold stare and could see the anger and hatred welling up inside. Shelby shot back the coldest glare she could muster and then turned her attention back to Sophie. The mother left the sanctuary.


	8. Heartbreak

The girls sat silently with Sophie as the sanctuary emptied. After the last person left, they stood and made their way to the aisle. Once there, they each gave Sophie a hug and were about to leave when the doors flew open and Ms. Becker stood there, seething. If it were possible, Sophie's face fell. The girls unconsciously took a step back.

"What. The. HELL do you think you are doing here?" Ms. Becker asked, hatred in every syllable.

"I've come to pay my last respects to my sister and best friend."

"I told you not to come. I told you yet you still came. Trying to press my buttons, still defying me? Nothing new to you."

"I had to come."

"I knew I shouldn't have told you about the funeral. I knew I shouldn't have even called you, that I should have only pretended to call. You always disobey me. Just because you are older doesn't mean you've changed."

"Stop making this about yourself, mother. I'm here to mourn for my sister. In case you didn't know, she DIED."

"Oh but this is about me, Sophie. I gave birth to both of you and ultimately I have the final say in things."

"Not about funerals, mother! You can't keep me from something like this, and you didn't. I didn't do this to defy you, I did this for Jori. She would have wanted me here. She would have been furious with you if you managed to keep me away."

"You are so full of shit, you know that? Jori would have been relieved to know that her sister was too busy and too involved with her own life and problems to see her out of the world. How pathetic are you, anyway? Bringing these pitiful children with you who are dumb enough to pat you on the shoulder every time a tear falls down your face. They're just as messed up as you are."

Jet started to retort, but Shelby elbowed her to keep quiet.

"Do they know about your past, Sophie? Do they know about the drugs –

"Shut up." Sophie interjected

"…the hospitalizations, the scars…"

"Shut. Up."

"…all those men…"

"Shut the fuck up mother."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Ms. Becker's hand flew across Sophie's face so fast none of them had seen it coming. This woman was strong in every sense of the word. The first blow knocked Sophie to the ground and she huddled against the end of the pew and covered her head with her arms. Ms. Becker grabbed her arms and forcibly threw them away. She was about to hit Sophie again when she was grabbed around her waist and pulled back. One of the ushers had pulled her off, but only needed a glance from her to back away to the hallway. The girls were much more alert now and would be ready to fend off Ms. Becker if needed. But the moment had passed and the two of them stared each other down. Sophie, tears streaming down her face, held her hand to her jaw, still stinging from the slap.

"Why do you hate me so much?" she finally asked.

"Because."

"No. I need to know why. What have I EVER done to be treated like this?"

"You were born."

"What?"

"You were born. You were never supposed to be born."

"What?"

"You really are an idiot. Do I have to spell everything out for you? God. Okay. When I was twenty-one I was drunk. I couldn't drive and nobody would give me my keys or take me home on their own because they were all drunk too. So I decided to walk home. Twenty miles. A man pulled over and offered to give me a lift so I accepted. We had only gone a couple of miles when he pulled to the side of the road, pulled out a knife, and threatened to kill me if I didn't obey him. So he raped me, beat me, and then left me on the side of the road. Someone called an ambulance and I was in the hospital for about a week. Two months later I found out I was pregnant. With you. I didn't get an abortion because my parents wouldn't hear of it and the doctors said it could hamper the possibility of children in the future. I didn't put it up for an adoption because again, my parents wouldn't hear of it. I tried many ways to abort it or miscarry it myself, but it didn't work. I had to quit school, my boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I had cheated on him, and my friends were not supportive. So it was me and this baby. Once I tried leaving it on a doorstep but someone called the cops on me and I was monitored for awhile. Things got worse until I met Tony, and this baby had his heart before mine." Ms. Becker smiled as it sank in.

"Dad wasn't my real dad?"

"Nope."

"I wasn't planned."

"A mistake is more like it."

"How come you never told me?"

"Why should I? Why should I let the person who caused all of this hell know? It would have only given you more flame to your fire."

"I wasn't planned."

"How many times do you want to hear it? You weren't planned, you were a mistake, you were never supposed to be born. It would have made my life a hell of a lot easier if you never were. This is it. This is it. I can't take it anymore. Sophie, I wash my hands of you. You are no longer part of this family. You are alone." She turned on her heels and left. The funeral procession was waiting and she climbed into the back of the limo with her parents, and slowly the parking lot emptied.

Sophie watched her mother go; the full realization of what had just happened hit her the second the heavy oak doors closed. She began to cry uncontrollably, her body shaking, tears running rivers down her cheeks, her sobs echoing in the empty church. The girls sat in a circle around her, unsure of what to do, no idea of what to say, so they just sat in silence. Jet tentatively put a hand on Sophie's knee, but it was as if something snapped inside her. She jumped to her feet.

"What do you guys know about anything?" she looked at the door where her mother left. "Fuck you!" She looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck you! Fuck everything! Why my life? Why all of it my fucking life?" She staggered to the door and went outside and screamed as loud as she could. Her eyes took in the parking lot, empty, with the exception of the van which was sitting alone near the back of the lot. Alone. Suddenly she was struck with a force that made her feel utterly and completely alone. She collapsed on the steps and buried her face in her hands. She was so exhausted from crying she wanted to stop, but it was impossible. Her body racked with sobs and she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to comfort herself, wishing desperately for Peter. The fact that she needed to hear his voice but couldn't only made everything worse.

The girls looked at each other as Sophie stormed out. They were shocked at Sophie's words but weren't offended. They went into the hallway and waited, and heard Sophie's heart wrenching scream. They opened the door a crack and watched her collapse, watched as wave after wave of pain kept hitting her body. Jet felt as if her own heart had been ripped out. She could feel the pain from a few years ago creep up her neck. She could only imagine a small part of what Sophie was going through. She pushed the door open, and against Jules' and Shelby's tugs went to sit next to Sophie on the steps.

Sophie heard the door close, then footsteps, and then a body sit next to her. She felt arms envelop her and allowed it, the tears flowing. Jet took one of her hands and Sophie gripped it tightly. When a tear splashed on her hand, she looked up at Jet, whose cheeks were also wet with tears. No words were exchanged, but the message had been conveyed. Sophie put her head on Jet's shoulder and they sat there together for awhile. After a few minutes, Juliette and Shelby joined them. Juliette took Sophie's free hand and gave it a squeeze and Shelby sat a step above them. Sophie rooted in her jacket pocket for a Kleenex and wiped her eyes and nose.

"You guys…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I subjected you to this," she said softly.

"Out of all of us, you have the last reason to be sorry," Shelby said.

"I never thought it would come to this. I never thought I'd hear my mother say those words to me. I guess your life can still fall apart evenwhen you're thirty," she said, fresh tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

They didn't know how to respond. They were shocked and saddened they were witness to the exchange between Sophie and her mother and couldn't think of anything to say about that either. Peter said that sometimes the best source of comfort is silence. They sat on the steps for a long time, waiting for Sophie to calm down enough to drive back to the hotel.

Next and final chapter up soon! Sophie tells of her past...


	9. Acceptance

Juliette fan - this a sequel to "Innocence Lost." All the backstory you'll need is there. ;)

Last and final chapter of "Sophie's Tragedy." Enjoy!

Once back at the hotel Sophie sent the girls downstairs while she tried yet again to reach Peter. There were no messages on the hotel phone for her either. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she let her mind run away and imagined Peter hadn't called her back because he just didn't care. The feeling she had on the church steps returned but she pushed it away. She couldn't stand being alone any longer, and she went to go find the girls, who were sitting at a table, people watching.

"Did you get a hold of him?" Juliette asked. The look on Sophie's face was all the answer they needed.

After a minute or two of silence, the girls picked up their conversation again, which Sophie listened to idly. It was getting close to dinner, but Sophie has lost her appetite so she gave the girls a couple of dollars to get something from the deli/guest shop. They took it back up to the room while Sophie spent some time to herself, most of it in the weight room, which surprisingly had a punching bag.

"Okay, it's unlike Peter to not call her back at all, no matter how busy he is. I wonder what the deal is?" Shelby wondered.

"I think we should call the school and see if Peter has called there. 'Cause he doesn't know her sister died, does he? If we leave a message at the school, then someone there can let Peter know and he can call here," Juliette said.

"Good idea," Jet agreed.

"No, better idea. We can call Horizon and talk to Frank. I'm sure he's talked to Peter and told him the situation. I don't think Sophie has called the school since we've been here. Maybe she has the wrong number or hotel or something, and Frank can get us the right number," Shelby said. The others agreed. So they called Horizon.

Frank almost had a heart attack when he heard Shelby's voice. He thought something happened to Sophie for one of them to call. Leaving out the details, she managed to get the information about Peter.

"Wrong hotel, right hotel room." Shelby left the new and correct information by the phone. Sophie saw it immediately when she walked in.

"Did Peter call?"

"No, you had the wrong information. We called the school and got it from Frank."

"Thanks girls. That means a lot to me."

They went into their room and watched a movie on TV so they wouldn't be tempted to eavesdrop. They were halfway through a second movie when they noticed they couldn't hear Sophie talking anymore. They couldn't help being nosy so they knocked on the door that separated the two rooms.

"Come in."

Sophie was on the fold out bed, sitting in the corner, her knees against her chest, and staring off into space. They really didn't have a reason for going in and kind of hung back by the door. Sophie waved them over to sit down when Juliette thought of something to say: "We just wanted to see if you needed anything before we went to bed."

"Thank you for getting the right information. It meant the world that I got to talk to him. He said he had been going crazy because he didn't know how to get a hold of me. So thank you."

"No prob. We could see how badly you needed to talk to him," Shelby said. They were quiet for a few moments.

"Girls, I need to be completely honest with you. You are forever confiding in me even when you don't want to, so now it's my turn. I know you are probably dying to know what my mom was talking about so I'll tell you. I don't really want to, but I know you'll badger me about it at some point so I'm just going to get it off my chest now while I'm at my lowest."

"No, Sophie, don't tell us. I mean, yes, of course we're curious and nosy and want to know, but we really don't expect you to tell us. That's your private information. There's plenty of stuff we don't tell you, and -" Jet began.

"No, Jet, I have to tell you. I have to tell someone. Face to face. I can't keep it inside me any longer. I've been suppressing it for so many years that I can't do it anymore."

"Sophie, are you sure you can't wait another week for Peter?"

"I'm afraid of what I'll do if I wait."

"…Okay."

Sophie took a deep breath. "Okay. More or less, I'm a conglomeration of everyone at school. My uncle, my mom's oldest brother, raped me when I was eleven. She knew and didn't stop him. Whenever my father was out of town my mom would bring home men and force me to have sex with them. It got worse after my father died. She would bring them home and then she would leave, and if I tried to get away they'd beat me. I was hospitalized twice, but my mom had made up some story to cover herself and I was too afraid of what she'd do to me if I contradicted her, so I kept quiet. She beat me often. That was the only amount of attention she paid me. I got straight A's, nothing. I failed everything, nothing. I started cutting but that didn't give me the release I needed. So I got into drugs and alcohol. I fell into a pool at a party once and almost drowned. I was put in rehab after that and when I got out I fell back into my old habits. A part of me did this to get my mom's attention but a larger part did it to escape from reality. By then I knew when my mom would bring home these guys, so I'd get high or drunk so I wouldn't know what was going on. My mom had some sense and always made the men use protection – for their sake, not mine, of course – but once this guy somehow got around it and I ended up pregnant. My mom forced me to go to Planned Parenthood and get an abortion. That's why I can't have children. I was almost eighteen. The day I turned eighteen I was out. I wrote a letter to Jori while she was at school and I left. I traveled. I went as far away as I could, to places where I wouldn't be reminded of home. When I was twenty two I got back into drugs again and was hospitalized for an overdose. I checked myself into rehab and have been clean ever since. I had kept in contact with Jori ever since I left and visited whenever she promised me my mom wouldn't be around. She was never subjected to the hell I went through because mom loved her. I guess Jori told my mother my whereabouts each time I contacted her and that's why my mom knew to call Horizon. And then I found out today – well, you did too – about why my mom hates me so much." Sophie had remained remarkably calm while relating the story.

"Sophie, you are the strongest person I know," Shelby said.

"I wouldn't have made it through today without you guys." She glanced at the clock. "I guess you guys should get to bed, we're leaving early in the morning."

The each gave Sophie a hug before retreating into their room.

For the third night in a row, Sophie cried herself to sleep.

The next day was uneventful. There was an awkward silence in the car most of the time. Sophie was glad for it though, it gave her time to think about the past couple of days and what it would mean for her future. After the girls left the room the night before, she had seriously contemplated not going back to Horizon. But then she thought of how much her past could help get through to students, to connect with them. She knew she was helping the kids so much by being there and it wouldn't be fair to them if she left. It wouldn't be fair to Peter, or to herself for that matter, either. Peter. Her rock. She looked at the sleeping girls in the car and knew everything would be okay. She wasn't really alone after all.

That's it, hope you enjoyed the story. Please review!


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